I always seem to fuck everything up, including our friendship. I feel like I lost you, and it's been months since we actually had a serious conversation. Sometimes I wish I can man up and talk to you, talk to you about things that's been bugging me lately. But I always seem to come up with bullshit excuses to prevent myself from telling you things. I don't know why. I think it's because I know that when I start a conversation, I'll blank out and I wouldn't know what to say and just say "nevermind, forget it." And I seriously don't want that to happen. For once, I just wish I could tell you how I feel and what's going on. I mean afterall, you are my best friend. And I could tell you anything, but I don't know why I can't tell you this simple thing? I guess I'm just afraid. I know I shouldn't be afraid to tell you anything, but I am. I know that we never tell each other our feelings, I don't know why. It's always been like this since the first day we met each other. I know it needs to change, I know that I need to start opening up and telling you things that's bothering me. And I know that I should stop chickening out and just tell you.

I wish I could...but I don't know how?

One of these days, I will..and it'll be soon.
Hopefully.